I was having a conversation with a fantastic colleague (and friend!) recently. Actually, I was doing all the talking, and she was listening and talking me out of the trees. I was incredibly frustrated with a string of events that were creating some serious problems for a project I am working on. In trying to solve the problem, I was receiving incredibly poor service and response. Poor processes, lack of communication, lack of respect, and a complete lack of caring were at the heart of what put these roadblocks in the way. I knocked them out of the way, but not without a lot of frustration and time lost. My colleague listened without judgment and helped me look at all sides of the situation and try to approach it from a more positive perspective. I love her for that.
Our conversation did get me to think of the last few years of work I’ve been doing on organizational exit as well as some of my own situations. Positivity…I love it. I work hard to be in that space in the face of any and all challenges. Here is what is happening though, we are using positivity to ignore the elephants in the room: poor morale, toxic climates, poor performers, unethical behaviors, sexual harassment, and the list goes on. We use positivity to ignore the elephants in our personal lives too. I’ve heard so many leaders in the last few years say “people need to stop whining and complaining.” My response to that always is, “Did you think there might be something going on that you should be paying attention to?”
The elephants in the room are NEVER easy to talk about but should never be ignored. Trust is only truly built if you are willing to tackle the shit along with the good stuff. It’s never easy to talk about not having enough money, high turnover, low morale, unethical or low performance, and so on. However, ignoring the elephants and only putting on a smile erodes trust because we can’t know that our leaders will take action when the organization and team needs it the most.
Positivity is a wonderful trait in a leader. We want leaders who can find the vision and see the brilliance in the day-to-day and future, but we also want someone who is going to fight back, stand up, and tackle the hard stuff too. The team is tackling that stuff daily and would love some help from our leaders. I was told one time, “Oh, Marya, I don’t pay attention to any of that negative stuff. It brings me down.” “Um, you are a leader in a pretty strong position of power who could help make change by paying attention and addressing the elephants in the room, I’m just sayin’…” We can’t ignore the opportunities for improvement because they are hard, negative, or bring us down. The amount of trust you can build by paying attention and addressing the elephants is huge…and will create success.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how I listen and support others, as a team member and a leader. I always hope I can portray an aura of positivity. I want to help people smile, feel great about their strengths, and most of all, feel valued. I also hope I can ensure others that I will fight on their behalf to make things in the organization right. I am grateful to my colleague and friend this last week. She made me feel heard and valued. In turn, I am feeling positive again…and ready to tackle the shit.
What do you think?! I’d love to know!