This was one of those weeks that on Tuesday just before Noon it felt like Friday afternoon. When I realized what day it was, I laughed. It was a much-needed ab workout for sure. Anyone else losing track of days and time as we work more virtually?!
I have spent a lot of time on the phone since I last wrote. Meetings, course delivery, and a lot of coaching have been the focus. The conversations with everyone I connected were great from because I appreciate and enjoy every person I spoke and worked with. They were rough because there is a lot of sadness, frustration, anger, and fear. Of course some of that emotion stems from the global events of the day, but there was a theme developing in those conversations: frustration with over-bearing (read “micromanagement”), poor, or completely absent leadership in their organizations. The stories and concerns are wide-ranging and different, but overall the experiences are leading back to leadership. It is not uncommon in times of rapid change or crisis that these are how my conversations turn. I will say this: there is a level of resilience happening that I find awesome.
Fear of being wrong, fear of rejection, fear of failure…they are a part of our life and stem from deep needs that we all have. We all experience these fears but at very different levels of depth. There is one more that I want to discuss: fear of emotional discomfort. 2020 has certainly created more emotional discomfort than anyone would have predicted. This year has exposed the cracks in EVERTHING. It has exposed the cracks in our personal lives, our organizations, our supply chains, our communities…our everything. This exposure is uncomfortable as hell for everyone, I don’t care how tough you think you are. These cracks are hitting at our vulnerability at intense levels. This year has had me in some of the deepest reflective space I have ever experienced. This reflection has pushed in front of me the roadblocks, poor decisions, and areas I need to pivot, fix, or improve. It has been uncomfortable, hard, and sometimes sad as hell. And yet, HERE is the strength. This space of uncomfortable is my strength because I am taking actions that I either talked about forever, put on a list, or didn’t even see. My world is not without roadblocks or hurdles, but it is on a pivot I was not planning, and it’s glorious.
The uncomfortableness we are experiencing is a HUGE opportunity. It is a chance for us to not just fix those cracks, but make them better, stronger, and different. It is a chance for us to do what we’ve been saying we will do for a long time. It is a chance for us to do better, BE better. 2020 shook us and is still shaking us up hard. 2020 has made things so out of the norm that the uncertainty is palpable. THIS is where we can gather our strength, we can make the changes we want, we can create the opportunities of a lifetime. Lean into that uncomfortable feeling, see the cracks, make a plan, and then gather your team – personally and professionally – to help you rise, stronger and better. Love the uncomfortableness. It is going to be exciting.
A note to leaders: your job is hard, and you are experiencing everything I have talked about here, just like your team. But here is the deal, we are the leaders. Our job is to lead the way. Our job is to inspire and create a new path. Our job is to ensure that as we pivot and change, we make sure our teams are with us, and doing ok. No one is asking us to not be human, but we need to remind ourselves that with leadership comes responsibility. Let us check on our teams, bring back compassion, bring back vision, bring back some humor and fun, get the roadblocks out of the way so our teams can be great. Reach out to me if I can help.
So what are you going to do the next few weeks to lean into that uncomfortableness?
For those who are struggling hard, please reach out to me. 2020 has a lot of opportunity, but it has also been unbearably hard for so many. If you can’t find support in your circles or organization, reach out. I would love to listen and help.
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My writing about fears that we experience, and how we let that roadblock our success are directed by my own research. My research is supported by the some of the following work:
Bachmann, R. & Zaheer, A. (Eds.) (2006). Handbook of Trust Research. Northampton, MA: Edward Elgar.
Fineman, S. (2007). Understanding emotions at work. London, UK: Sage Publications.
Lewis, M., Haviland-Jones, J. M., & Barrett, L. F. (Eds.). (2008). Handbook of emotions (3rd ed.). New York, NY: Guilford Press.
Reina, D. & Reina, M. (2006). Trust and betrayal in the workplace. Berrett-Koehler Publishers: San Francisco, CA.
Maultsby, M. (1986). Coping better: Anytime, anywhere. Alexandria, VA: RBT Center, LLC.
Wilson, L. & Wilson, H. (1998). Play to win: Choosing growth over fear in work and life. Bard Press: Austin, TX.