I was reading through an interview for our research this week and was reminded how insanely important it is that we really, truly listen to others…really listen and hear them. The individual I interviewed was a high-performing leader in a large company. Her energy and attitude were so contagious and energizing, even while telling her story. She left her organization because she was not listened to, she was not heard, and ultimately did not feel valued. Her company didn’t want to be bothered to deal with sexual harassment and near physical violence she experienced from several other employees. As I listened to her, I was shocked, angry, and honestly, heartbroken. She was trying to right a huge injustice for herself and another colleague. And what did she get in return? Zero support. She was not taken seriously, she was not heard, and she did not feel valued (and could not trust the organization in any way after this situation). Her choice was easy after not being heard or valued: it was time to leave the company.

Not being heard or feeling valued is a theme that is consistently showing up in our research on organizational exit. Organizations are losing valuable talent and resources because they “don’t have time for this shit.” This theme isn’t just consistent in my research, I see it everywhere these days, personally and professionally. Why? Are we truly that busy? Why do we have such a hard time really listening to others, hearing them? I tell my students every time I teach Organizational Leadership, “The one thing that every single person wants from their organization, regardless of age, position, type of job, etc., is they want to be valued for the contribution they make to their organization. That’s it, just to be valued.” Do you have any idea how easy that is to do for others? Have you really sat back and thought about how easy it is to make everyone in your organization feel valued?

Listen, really listen, to what others tell you. Stop dismissing other’s feelings. Say thank you. Say please. Be kind even when others are not to you. Ask how someone’s day is going and then REALLY listen to their response (I will fully admit I need to work on this one, I’m not that busy that I can’t take a moment to make someone feel heard and valued). Ask their opinion to solve a problem. Respect other’s opinions and thoughts. Respect how others work (extroverts, reminder that introverts have a lot to offer and vice versa). Step back and remember the person in front of you is a dynamic, interesting, complex, and feeling human. It’s so easy to hear others and make them feel valued. When people feel heard and valued, they feel good. They want to bring that same feeling to others. They want to give back. Do you know what that does for your family, friendships, relationships, and organizations? It’s absolutely brilliant!

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I make others feel heard and valued, personally and professionally. I have lost my way here more than I want to admit. So today, I am committing to doing everything I can to make others feel heard and valued. I will listen when you need an ear. I will remember to say please and thank you. I will slow down when I ask you how your day is going because I do want to know. I will wait until you ask me for advice before I give it to you (I can’t promise I’ll never do this because I love to help, ha, but I will work hard to wait until you ask). I will respect your opinions and thoughts. I will do my best to make you smile, even laugh. And, I won’t get this right all the time, but know that I am making this commitment to you. I want you to be heard and feel valued.

What about you? I’d love to hear more from you!

Important note: I would like to add that there are times when others are hurting, in pain, afraid, and more where they cannot make this commitment to you because they must take care of themselves. This is a time when we can truly listen as well and continue to make people feel valued, at what might be a very low point for them. Sometimes hearing is just understanding, providing quiet support from behind the scenes, and reaching out with a hello or kind text or message that says, “I’m here for you.” We are humans first, with feelings and emotions, and helping people feel they are heard and valued when they are hurting is a most incredible gift we can give.