I had a leadership session participant ask me, “Why can’t we trust leaders?” The question was a bit tongue-in-cheek but a good one nonetheless. My first reaction was a hearty laugh (and so was the reaction of the entire room). We were discussing business ethics. After we all had a good giggle, I responded “What do you think is the reason?” The answers were pretty typical: power, money, and greed. Power, money, and greed are no doubt behind the breakdown of trust in our leaders. These are what I consider to be a few drivers of betrayal of trust, especially when abused (power, money, and greed on their own are not bad, but that’s a discussion for another time).
The definition I refer to the most in my teaching, advising, and research regarding trust is “an individual’s belief in, and willingness to act on the basis of, the words, actions, and decisions of another” (Lewicki & Wiethoff, 2000, p. 87). I shared this with the participants, and the non-verbal cues were pretty awesome. Eye lifts, eye rolls, cock-eyed smiles, crinkles in the forehead, a few more giggles, frowns and even a few verbal “oh”s! When I asked them to expand their answers about why they can’t trust leaders, many of them shared stories instead of just a few words: partners and family members lying, bosses and colleagues taking credit for their work, abusive situations, and more. Their stories expanded far beyond our discussion of business leaders. These stories were very personal and involved an array of minor to major betrayals of trust. It was an insightful and enlightening conversation, reminding us of just how deeply trust affects our relationships.
Trust in our leaders is key to the success of businesses, non-profits, education, government, and every type of organization you can imagine. I don’t think anyone disputes how important trust is to success. You’re seeing more and more being written about “trust is a key skill every leader needs to be able to develop.” Absolutely. What has been fascinating to watch over the last decade of my advising and research around trust is how little our leaders understand about the time and commitment needed to actually earn trust. Rather, many seem to expect the members of the organization to “do what I say, not what I do.” Sound familiar? I heard this week from a client who is the director of their organization, “I’ve got a business to run, I haven’t got time for this shit.” (“Shit” being defined as understanding and working to accommodate their followers needs and wants, building trust. It might not be shocking to hear, but morale is quite low in this organization.) I smiled, and agreed, “Yes, you have a business to run. But you absolutely have to make time for this shit.”
A willingness to believe and act on someone’s words, actions, and decisions…that statement is powerful and completely personal. Yet, the leaders I advise and coach fall back on “I have a business to run, I haven’t got time for that shit” more often than they should. Being a leader is hard. Being a leader involves building relationships with everyone you come into contact. Being a leader requires not just getting the job done but understanding people. It’s a balance, and it’s not easy. Gaining the trust of your team? Leaders must make time for this “shit.”
What are your reasons for trusting your leaders? For trusting anyone? I know there are a thousand answers out there. I’d like to hear a few of yours.
Lewicki, R.J. & Wiethoff, C. (2000). Trust, Trust Development, and Trust Repair. In. M. Deutsch & P.T. Coleman (Eds.), The handbook of conflict resolution: Theory and practice (p. 86-107). San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.