“Why can’t we do that?” was the question I posed when I last wrote. For the longest time, I have noticed more and more of us saying “No” or “We can’t do that” or “We have a policy so we can’t do that” (ugh, this one annoys me more than most).

This was one of those weeks that on Tuesday just before Noon it felt like Friday afternoon. When I realized what day it was, I laughed. It was a much-needed ab workout for sure. Anyone else losing track of days and time as we work more virtually?!

The Oxford Dictionary defines rejection as dismissing or refusing a proposal or idea or more. It is also defined as the spurning of one’s affections (that one really hurts, eh?!). Most of you are probably thinking about a time that you have been rejected. I am hoping the sting of the hurt is not still lingering, and if so, know you are being held in my thoughts and heart that it heals soon. I want to talk about rejection a little differently. The small ways that rejection hits our worlds, and the ways we reject others without even thinking about it.

Whew, this year continues to lob the surprises, doesn’t it? I have been remiss in keeping up with my writing. When I do not write or keep up with my writing schedule, I find it affects me in odd ways. Writing is my outlet for my research, my problem-solving, my decision-making, and my mind (my journal is big, ha). As I have been thinking about today’s topic, the need to be right, my lack of writing fits in well here. Let me explain.

Last time, I talked about not letting our fears eat our souls. There was such a positive response. I think the reason was the acknowledgment that fear exists, it is real, and it is part of our being. So, why not embrace it, understand it, and work it to our advantage?

At the current moment, there is a lot of fear that we are experiencing. How are you experiencing fear now? In the past? Do you embrace it? Do you run at it head on yelling, “I got this. You can’t beat me!” Do you let it overtake your life and roadblock you? Do you let it eat at your soul?

All of life’s changes bring about uncertainty. Uncertainty brings fear. Fear brings self-protection. Self-protection starts eating at trust, and well, it just spirals from there because we do not understand how change affects people as individuals.

Some call it faith or hope or maybe even magic, but ultimately trust is a key factor in the role of the optimistic individual.

“DUH, Marya. If we had all the information we needed, there wouldn’t be uncertainty.” Ok, ok, that’s true. The more transparent and open with information an organization and leaders can be, the stronger the culture and of course, the stronger the trust among all on the team. If we know this, then why are organizations so protective of information? Why are we not being more transparent in our words, decisions, and actions?

Change and uncertainty create fear, and when that happens, OOOF, the armor goes up. Trust lessens, self-protection gets stronger, teamwork lessens, culture shifts to a more negative space, and more. Sounds so positive, huh? Ha. This isn’t about being negative. It’s about admitting, shit can be scary.

When I’m asked to work with teams regarding change, uncertainty, loss of trust, frustration, etc., I find it absolutely necessary to spend time bringing it back to self-reflection. It frustrates the hell out of a lot of people. “How is this going to help us be successful? I already know who I am. I don’t have time for this shit.”